Eyes and Ancestors
For those of you who don’t know, I have a serious eye condition diagnosed in 2018. It led to multiple injections into the sclera of my eyes over the course of the last five years. Earlier this month, I had my first laser eye surgery so that I could have a more permanent solution for this condition. My eye reacted really well, and although the procedure was painful, 850+ laser shots later, my right eye is back to normal, and as of yesterday’s check-in, it’s all good. In addition to the check-in on my right eye, my left got the laser. 840+ laser shots later, my boyfriend was taking me home. Also? He was nice enough to get me some chicken nuggets on the way. I don’t know why, but chicken nuggets always sound good after medical stuff. I gotta say, today, my eye feels really good. A little light-sensitive (understandable, I think) but over all, really good.
You might be thinking, “Tosh, what does this have to do with witchcraft?” The answer? Nothing. This is just a life update. But, I do want to talk about something that’s been on my mind (again): ancestors.
I’ve talked about ancestors before, of course, and I want to do a little update about ancestors.
THE ANCESTORS
I’ll be honest - a lot of my family is sort of unknown to me. I’ve mentioned this before, but I’m relatively estranged from my immediate family, and, honestly, that’s how it’s going to remain. That being said, I’m lucky enough to be pretty close to my grandmother. I let her know that I decided to use a commercial DNA test to find out my ancestry, and maybe connect with some more far-flung relatives. My findings, as a relatively non-melanated person - aren’t terribly surprising. I’m a descendant of colonizers, so my ancestry can be traced back to Brittain, Ireland, and Norway (mainly). I shared these results with my grandmother (from whom I get most of my Irish heritage) and she has shared many pictures and stories with me as a result.
One such picture is of my great-grandmother, Bonita (Bonnie). She was so little with a very concerned look on her face. What struck me about the picture is that my great-grandmother’s mother, in the picture, looks exactly like my grandmother. It’s uncanny, their resemblance. It’s such an amazing picture, and I’m so grateful to have it. My Grammie also sent me a picture of one of the men in my family, holding a little dog in much the same way that I hold my own little dog, Maverick. These are little pieces of history that I have, and today, I want to set up a proper place of honor for them. I don’t know if I want to actively reach out to the spirit world (probably not, because honestly - I am not ready), but I do want them to have a place of honor in my home. I want them to be remembered for those little moments, those things that are carried on in me - the care for animals, the round cheeks, the concerned looks, each of these things are manifested in me, and that’s really beautiful.
Doing the commercial DNA site I’ve done, I was able to connect with a distant cousin my great-grandmother had told me about many, many years ago. I like to think she’d be happy about that. That’s one sort of nice thing about these sites - if you don’t have family, or you’re estranged from yours - you might find some family members you can connect with. And hey, if you don’t have a family you can connect with, or, if you are estranged, I’m your family now (with your permission, of course). If you have a family who doesn’t see your value as a person, I do. So, welcome to the family my new sibling or nibling - you are welcome and valid here in my family <3
- Tosh
