Ancestors and Estrangements
I started a project this week, something my Great Grammie entrusted to me: a family tree. This is an undertaking that is more complicated than it may seem – largely because there are so many pieces of our family puzzle that are, as of yet, missing.
The thing that has been nagging at me is the women of my family. I look through birth dates, death dates, number of children, and marriage dates, and eventually, I get so far back that their names are listed only as “Mrs. [insert last name here]” and I can’t help but think – who were they? What were their stories? Their favorite foods? Their nicknames? Dreams? All of that is lost to history for these people. And I understand that as history unfolds, pieces, people, and even places are just lost. And in the cases of some of my more problematic ancestors, that’s undoubtedly for the best. However, I realized that for the more recently deceased of my family, and the few still living, I want to know their stories. Not just names, dates, and numbers, but to flesh out the intricate details of who these beings are and were – their stories are part of my story, and I want to do what I can to be sure that they are not just lost.
Just some tips, in case you are considering (or have considered in the past) a similar undertaking, I stuck with free resources which include the following:
o Find a grave The trick with this one is finding a relative who has passed on, and then following the trail as far as you can, exploring spouses, children, and parents. If you’re lucky, under pictures or memorials, you might find anecdotes about their lives. One such instance I learned one of my ancestors was an indentured servant as an eight-year-old and couldn’t remember his birth parents.
o Family Tree - This one is tricky, and I have an important disclosure: this site is run by the Church of Latter Day Saints. So, your profile is free, but, you are putting in information that will then belong to the LDS church. If you’re cool with that, then go ahead, if you want to keep your info away from the Mormon church, use the “Search” option and find “Search Genealogies” – this will allow you to look through different genealogies and filter down as best you can, without creating an account.
Although Ancestral work comes up a lot in circles talking about witchcraft, please do NOT feel obligated to do it. For me, my great-grandmother was a supportive human being who encouraged me to write, and for me, this is a way of connecting with her legacy. That being said, I’m not comfortable lighting a candle and inviting the spirits of my ancestors into my presence. If you are, that’s cool. If you aren’t, that’s also cool. Do what works for you, and, what won’t harm you.
We’ll see what comes of my story gathering, and I’ll update the blog next week!
Tomorrow, I’ll be posting the next installment of Monster Hunting in the Old West - I hope you enjoy it!
-NL
